A friend recently told me that he just couldn’t deal any longer with a relative and had drawn a boundary so that their paths would never cross. And then he said this, “I know it’s not right, but I just love to hate her!” I could not get over that conversation and only later, during my quiet time of prayer – where honesty with God is sort of a requirement, wouldn’t you agree? – did I figure out why those words had lingered in my brain. I realized that I had been perseverating on The Merton Prayer’s “nor do I really know myself,” which allowed me to honestly ask myself, “Is there someone in my life I love to hate?”

When the clear and powerful answer came back “Yes, you know there are such people in your life,” I blinked, took a deep breath, and asked myself “Why would I…